The Manners of Welcoming the New-Born Child in Islâm

By Abu Rumaysah

Children are a source of delight and an adornment for the world granted by Allâh to their parents, they give vigour to the hearts, joy to the souls, pleasure to the eyes. They are the fruit from whom good is to be hoped for when they frequently supplicate:

 “Our Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small”

and they are the ones in every nation upon whom hope for the future lies, and they are the youth of tomorrow upon whose shoulders the call to Islâm is carried. Indeed Islâm has indeed elevated the status of children and has laid down manners for their treatment relating to all their affairs and each stage of their and from these are the manners for welcoming their arrival in this life.

Our Prophet ‎ﷺ was a living example, educating, cultivating the Muslims upon the practices of Islâm, teaching them how to worship their Lord in the best of ways. But a number of Muslims have strayed from his pure teachings and have substituted that which is gold for that which worthless.

So here are the manners the Prophet ﷺ taught us with regards our new-born.

Encouragement to have Children

Allâh says, “So now have sexual relations with them,, and seek that which Allâh has ordained for you.” And the Prophet ‎ﷺ said, “Marry the loving and fertile because through you, I will compete with the nations for superiority in numbers”(Abu Dawûd)
And it is important that the Parents bring up their children upon righteousness, so that the Parents will benefit from them during their lives and after their death. Allâh ‘s Messenger ‎ﷺ said, “A servant will have his rank raised and will say, ‘O my Lord how has this come about for me?’ He says, ‘through your sons after you seeking forgiveness for you'”(ibn Maajah)
Know that what has preceded applies equally to both boys and girls, and indeed Islâm has encouraged the bringing up of girls, and Allâh condemns those that are distressed at the birth of a girl, and the Messenger ‎ﷺ came elevating the status of this gift from Allâh ,

 “ “whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood – he and I will come together on the Day of Resurrection (like this) – and he interlaced his two fingers”(Muslim)

Meaning in Paradise. So can their be a greater honour given to daughters?!

Giving the good news of the Birth

The near of kin who are anxiously waiting should be informed so that they can stop worrying and congratulate the parents and supplicate for the baby. Allâh mentions this good news being conveyed to a number of His Prophets, from them Zakariyyah of his son Yahya,

 “Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in a private room (saying), ‘Allâh gives you glad tidings of Yahya'”

Giving the Adhân in the ear of the newborn

The first practice to do is to make the adhâh in the ear of the baby, so that the first words that the baby hears is the name of Allâh , and the kalima.

It is to be given straight after the birth, or very soon afterwards as he ﷺ did with his grandson al-Husayn, as is related by Abu Raafi’ who said,

 “ “I saw the Prophet ‎ﷺ give the adhâh for prayer in the ear of al-Husayn ibn Alî when his mother Fâtimah gave birth to him,” (Tirmidhî)

It should be given with it’s usual wording in a voice which is audible to the baby, not so loudly that it risks harm to the baby or alarms it.

Only the adhân is to be given, not the iqâmah as well as there is no authentic evidence to support this. Giving the adhaan only is also the reported practice of the Khalî fah Umar bin Abdul Azîz. This is closer to the sunnah, and Allâh knows best.

The sunnah has not specified as to which ear it should be given, however the Messenger ‎ﷺ used to love to do good actions starting from the right, so it would be more appropriate to give the adhân in the right ear.

The Tahnîk

This means to softening a date and then rubbing the palate of the new-born with it just after the birth or soon after. This is done by putting a piece of the softened date on the finger and rubbing it from left to right in the mouth of the baby.

 Ibn Hajr said, “if one is not able to find a dry date, then a fresh date should be used, and if that is not available then anything sweet.” (Fath 9/588

It is not essential to chew the date rather it may be softened in any way. The action of chewing as reported in the sunnah was something specific to the Messenger ‎ﷺ due to the blessings that Allâh had placed in his saliva.
It is done by the father or the mother or anyone from the People of Knowledge whose supplication is hoped would be accepted. So he should perform tahnîk and supplicate for the child as was the practice of the Companions.

Imaam Nawawî says,” scholars are agreed upon the recommendation of performing tahnîk upon the baby after it’s birth.”(Sharh Sahî h Muslim 4/122)

Aaishah (ra) reports, “ new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allâh ‎ﷺ and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate.” (Muslim)

Naming the child

The baby may be named on the day of it’s birth or later on the seventh day or past the seventh day, as this is what is clear after study of all the evidences from the sunnah.

It is the father or the mother who chose the name for the baby. If they differ amongst themselves then it is the father who has the choice, he may name it himself or give his wife the right to choose. The fact that this is the right of the father is shown by the principle that the child is ascribed and attributed to the father, as Allâh says,

 “Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just in the Sight of Allâh ”

It is also allowed for the parents to allow others to name the child, since our Prophet ‎ﷺ used to name some of the children of his Companions.

The name should carry a good and praiseworthy meaning as the Messenger ‎ﷺ said,

 “ “On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and your fathers names, so make your names good.” (Abu Dawûd)

It is recommended to call oneself a servant of Allâh (Abdullâh) or the servant of any of the names of Allâh . Then it is recommended to name a child after a prophet, due to the hadîth,

 “ “call yourselves by the names of the Prophets” (Abu Dawûd)

and the hadîth,

 “ “a son was born to me this night and I called him after my forefather Ibraahîm” (Muslim)

Then it is recommended to name the child after any pious person in the hope that it will become like him/her. Then it is recommended to name by any name which has good meaning.

It is forbidden to name a child with a name that denote servitude to other than Allâh , for example Abd an-Nabi, Abd ar-Rasûl etc.

The names of tyrants and evil personalities should be avoided such as Fir’awn, Qarûn, Abu Lahab etc.. Likewise it is disliked to name with the names of the Surahs of the Qur’aan like ‘Taa Haa’ or ‘Yaa Sîn’ as is reported from Imaam Maalik and others. There is no authentic hadîth which ascribes the above two as being names of the Prophet ‎ﷺ.

The Aqîqah

After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings, it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger ‎ﷺ said,

 “ “Every child is in pledge for it’s Aqî qah which is sacrificed for it on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved” (Abu Dawûd)

If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of the scholars and Companions. The Prophet ﷺ said,

 “ “for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep.” (Ibn Mâjah)

So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat, and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars have differed over this.

The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for our Prophet ‎ﷺ performed the Aqîqah for his two grandsons. It is also obligatory to mention the name of Allâh over it while sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqîqah then he should add, ‘this aqîqah is the Aqîqah of so and so’ mentioning the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqîqah, as is reported in the hadî th related by al-Bayhaqî.

The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.

Shaving the baby’s head

On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet ﷺ told his daughter, Faatima (RA),

 “ “shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the poor” (Ahmad)

The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as mentioned in the hadîth,

 “ “shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the left” (Muslim)

It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by the Messenger ‎ﷺ as reported by al-Bukhârî. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and Allâh knows best.

The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby’s head after the shaving.

Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby’s weight of hair in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be delayed.

Circumcision

It is prescribed that the boy be circumcised, it is recommended that the circumcision take place on the seventh day, but it is obligatory to circumcise before the boy reaches puberty.

Source
http://www.islaam.net/muslim-society/children/the-manners-of-welcoming-the-new-born-child-in-islam/

Beware of Backbiting and Gossiping

By Ali Abd-ur-Rahman al-Hudhaifi

All praise is due to Allah. May peace and blessings be upon the Prophet, his household and companions.

Fellow Muslims!

 “Fear Allah and obey Him. Be afraid of the Day when you shall be brought back to Allah. Then every person shall be paid what he earned; and they shall not be dealt with unjustly” (Al-Baqarah 2: 281)

Brothers in Faith! Major sins are indeed the cause for all misery, evil and torment in this world and the hereafter. And the worst of all sins are those that are greatest in harm and danger. Among the destructive major sins are backbiting and slandering. These two sins were forbidden by Allah through His Prophet because they sow enmity, evils and discord among people and lead to destruction. They make their perpetrator regret when regret will be of no avail. They cause hostilities between people of the same household and between neighbours and relatives. They can decrease in good deeds and increase in evil ones and lead to dishonour and ignominy.

Backbiting and slandering are shame and disgrace. Their perpetrator is detested and he shall not have a noble death. Allah forbids these acts in His Book when He says,

 “O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful” (Al-Hujuraat 49: 12)

This verse strongly forbids backbiting for Allah likens the backbiter to one who eats the flesh of his dead brother. If he would hate eating the flesh of his brother, he should also hate to eat his flesh while he is alive by backbiting and slandering him.

When one reflects deeply over this assimilation it will be enough to keep one away from backbiting.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said,

 “ “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” (Muslim)

Abu Bakr narrated that the Prophet said in Mina on the day of slaughtering (10th day of Dhul-Hijjah),

 “ “Verily, your blood, property and honour have become sacred to one another as the sacredness of this day of yours in this month of yours and in this city of yours. Indeed, have I conveyed the Message?” (Al-Bukharee and Muslim)

Therefore, guard your tongue, fellow Muslims, from this debasing sin, for whoever guards his tongue from sins and uses his limbs in acts of obedience to Allah has prospered. Sahl ibn Subhan Allah’d narrated that the Messenger of Allah said,

 “ “Who protects his tongue from unlawful utterances and his private parts from illegal sexual intercourse, I shall guarantee him entrance into Paradise.” (Bukharee and Muslim)

Abu Moosa Al-Ash’aree said,

 “ I asked the Messenger of Allah: Who is the best Muslim? The Messenger of Allah replied, “He is the one from whom Muslims are safe from the evil of his tongue and hands.” (Muslim)

Dear Muslims! Beware of slipping of your tongues and do not give it free hand to wreak havoc on you. For free tongue destroys its owner and causes him calamities and evils.

Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudree narrated that the Messenger of Allah said,

 “ “When man wakes up in the morning each day, all parts of the body warn the tongue saying, ‘Fear Allah as regards us for we are at your mercy; if you are upright, we will be upright and if you are crooked, we become crooked.’” (At-Tirmidhee)

Mu’aadh ibn Jabal said,

 “ “I said: O Messenger of Allah tell me of a deed that will make me enter Paradise and keep me away from the Fire. The Prophet said, ‘You have asked of a great matter but it is easy for whosoever Allah makes it easy. You should worship Allah without associating anything with Him, perform Salaah, pay Zakaah (charity), fast during the month of Ramadaan and perform pilgrimage if you are able to.’ He said further, ‘Should I show you the gateways to good? Fasting is a shield (from evils), charity extinguishes sins as water extinguishes fire and praying in the middle of the night.’ He then recited this verse, ‘Their sides forsake their beds to invoke their Lord in fear and hope and they spend (charity in Allah’s cause) out of what We have bestowed them. No person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.’ (As-Sajdah 32: 16-17) The Messenger of Allah then said, ‘Should I tell you the head of the matter, its pillar and its peak?’ I said: Yes O Messenger of Allah. He then said, ‘The head of the matter is Islam, its pillar is Salaah (prayer) and its peak is Jihaad in the way of Allah.’ He then asked, ‘Should I tell you of the foundation of all that?’ I said: Yes O Messenger of Allah. He then took hold of his tongue and said, ‘Hold back this.’ I said: O Messenger of Allah, are we going to be held responsible for what we utter? He said, ‘May your mother be bereaved of you^[1] does anything cast people into the Fire on their faces except what their tongues have uttered?’” (At-Tirmdhee)

Anas narrated that the Messenger of Allah said,

 “ “When I was ascended to heaven, I passed by a people who had copper nails with which they scratched their faces and chests, and I said, ‘O Jibreel, who are these?’ He said, ‘These are those who used to eat other people’s flesh and attack their honour.’” (Abu Dawood)

Therefore do not treat the issue of backbiting with indifference because it is a great sin. Allah says,

 You considered it a little thing, while with Allah it was very great.”(An-Noor 24: 15)

Abu Bakr used to take hold of his tongue and say this is that which caused me destruction. He said this as a sign of humbleness.

Backbiting is so widespread that it has become the topic of people’s meetings and an avenue for expressing their anger, misgivings and jealousy with those who indulge in backbiting believing that they are hiding their own imperfections and harming others. They are oblivious of the fact that they are only harming themselves. This is because the backbiter if the wrongdoer and his victim is the wronged and on the Day of Resurrection both the wrongdoer and the wronged will stand before Allah Who is the Just Judge and the wronged will appeal to Allah to avenge the wrong done to him, Allah will then give this wronged person from the good deeds of the person who wronged him in accordance with his wrong by backbiting his brother on a Day that no father will give his son any of his good deeds nor a friend to his friend. All will be saying, ‘Myself, myself.’

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said,

 “ “Usury has seventy something kinds, the smallest of which is for a man to have intercourse with his mother and the highest act of usury is for a Muslim to attack the honour of his Muslim brother.” He also said, “Whoever protects the honour of his brother, Allah will protect him from Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.” (At-Tirmidhee)

So prevent the backbiter of affronting the honour of Muslims. Allah says,

 “O you who believe, keep your duty to Allah and fear Him and speak (always) the truth.” (Al-Ahzaab 33: 70)

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allah for whoever fears Allah, He protects him from torment and doubles reward for him. Allah says,

 “And indeed We have created man and We know what his own self whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our knowledge). (Remember) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being after he or she has attained the age of puberty), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions). Not a word does he or she utter, but there is a watcher by him (ready to record it.” (Qaaf 50: 16-18)

Brothers in Islam, gossiping about others is also another vicious type of backbiting. It means carrying tales from one people to another with the intention of sowing dissention among them. Allah condemned this deed when He said,

 “And obey not everyone who swears much, and is considered worthless. A slanderer going about with calumnies.” (Al-Qalam 68: 10-11)

The Prophet said,

 “ “The gossiper will not enter Paradise.”

Fear Allah therefore, dear brothers, and call yourselves to account before you are called to account and weigh your own deeds before they are weighed for you.

Be aware also dear Muslims, that the Ulamaa have explained that it is allowed for the wronged to inform the authorities of the wrong done to him as it is allowed for the person who sees vice to inform those who are capable of removing it and prevent its perpetrator from committing further vice. It is also allowed for the one seeking for religious decision to mention the wrong done to him to the knowledgeable man from whom he is seeking a decision in order to make things clear for him. It is also permissible for you to tell whoever seeks your advice on a person of something about him. It is not allowed for you to hide what you know about him so that he will not be deceived. All these types of speaking about others are lawful.

Footnote

[1] This statement is used by the Arabs to rebuke someone, and its literal meaning is not meant.

Jumaadath-Thaaniyah 5, 1422 (August 24, 2001)

4 Things Polygamy Has Taught Me About Monogamy

Despite having been in polygamy – I myself have never been polygamous, that’s for the husband. I can’t have more than one mate, and I wouldn’t want to either as discussed here. So even if your husband has more than one wife,  you still have a monogamous marriage to deal with and the issues are the same – just with polygamy there are extra ones on top.

So here are four things that polygamy has made clearer to me about my monogamous marital relationship:

Learn his love language, (or maybe even  his planetary culture.)  I’ve read the articles, nodded and sighed over the differences there are between us in expressing our love. But still there is a reluctance to change. Learning any new language is a struggle, and a whole bunch of work and using it as a fluent speaker feels awkward. But as someone usually appreciates you trying to use their native tongue, even if you stumble, trying to use their particular language of love becomes all the more apparent when polygamy enters the scene. You really want them to get how you feel and maybe your lack of communicating  adequately made them feel unloved. And then you interpret that as well, he’s finding someone else because of that (probably not, see here for why men choose polygamy) but then you just don’t want to chance it, so suddenly you are fluent. Gifts are given when normally you’d feel it’s a frivolous expense, and ‘love you’ texts become second nature when normally you’d think this state of love you are in with your spouse is obvious and you might as well text ‘I’m a human’ ten times a day in order to communicate as much new information.

Do that self-care. Suddenly you find the energy and the time to exercise, take care of yourself, shake the cobwebs off the lingerie hidden in the cupboard. That time was always there, but what was it filled with? Facebook or Instagram probably. Real-life relationships are always going to be the most important and nurturing them by nurturing yourself can only be a good thing. Do you want to spend time with someone who doesn’t take care of themselves and always seems grumpy? Me neither.
Having your own life, not living in each other’s pockets.Having time apart seems like  a negative thing, but  absence does make the heart grow fonder and keeps a relationship fresher. There is always something new to talk about, and more excitement between you. Having your own life rather than being in each other’s pockets gives each of you the confidence in themselves and this overflows into the relationship with positive vibes. The fact you choose to come together despite having  separate, hopefully interesting lives, makes the relationship somehow stronger.

Time is precious. With less time together,  you don’t want to waste the precious time you do have bickering over who emptied the trash last or how the food didn’t have enough salt. Things you thought can’t be let go of, can – if you have the motivation. If your husband is leaving in four hours and you won’t see him for a week , you can suddenly catch your tongue and hold back a nagging comment. Maybe you want to do something on the computer but leave it until you are travelling and spend quality time with your wife instead.

So these types of issues become all the more apparent when you are in polygamy, but they are not restricted to polygamous relationships. With your monogamous marriage, they are still relevant and can help improve your marriage, even in monogamy.

Source:
https://polygamyunpicked.wordpress.com/2016/10/28/4-things-polygamy-has-taught-me-about-monogamy/

COMMON MISTAKES IN PRAYERS (SOLAT).

Common Errors in Prayer That MUST Be Avoided:-

1. Reciting Surat al-Fatiha without pausing after each verse. The Prophet (SAW) used to pause after each verse of this surah. (Abu Dawood)

2. Sticking the arms to the sides of the body, in rukoo' or sujood, and sticking the belly to the thighs in sujood. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "Let not one of you support himself on his forearms (in sujood ) like the dog. Let him rest on his palms and keep his elbows away from his body." (Sahih Muslim). The Messenger of Allah (SAW) used to keep his arms away from his body during rukoo' and sujood that the whiteness of his armpits could be seen (Sahih Muslim).

3. Gazing upward during prayer. This may cause loss of concentration. We are commanded to lower our gaze, and look at the point at which the head rests during sujood. The Prophet (SAW) warned: "Let those who raise their gaze up during prayer stop doing so, or else their sights would not return to them. [ i.e. Lose their eyesight]."( Muslim)

4. Resting only the tip of the head on the floor during sujood. The Prophet (SAW) said: "I am commanded to prostrate on seven bones the forehead and the nose, the two hands [palms], the two knees, and the two feet." (Sahih Muslim) Applying the above command necessitates resting the forehead and the nose on the ground during sujood.

5. Hasty performance of prayer which does not allow repose and calmness in rukoo' or sujood. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) saw a man who did not complete his rukoo' [bowing], and made a very short sujoo [prostration] ; he (SAW) said: "If this man dies while praying in this manner, he would die upholding a religion other than the religion of Muhammad." Abu Hurairah (RA) said: "My beloved friend, Muhammad (SAW) forbade me to perform postures of prayer copying the picking of a rooster; (signifying fast performance of prayer), moving eyes around like a fox and the sitting like monkeys ( i.e. to sit on thighs)." (Imam Ahmad & at-Tayalisi) The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "The worst thief is the one who steals from his own prayer."? People asked, 'Messenger of Allah! How could one steel his own prayer?' He (SAW) said: "By not completing its rukoo' and sujood." (At- Tabarani & al-Hakim). To complete rukoo' is to stay in that posture long enough to recite 'Subhana rabbiyal Adtheem' three times, SLOWLY, and' Subhana rabbiyal-A'ala' three times, SLOWLY, in sujood. He (SAW) also announced: "He who does not complete his rukoo' and sujood, his prayer is void." (Abu Dawood & others)

6. Counting tasbeeh with the left hand. The Prophet (SAW) used to count tasbeeh on the fingers of his right hand after salah. Ibn Qudamah (RA) said: "The Messenger of Allah (SAW) used his right hand for tasbeeh." ( Abu Dawud) The above hadeeth indicates clearly that the Prophet (SAW) used only one hand for counting tasbeeh. No Muslim with sound mind would imagine that the Prophet (SAW) used his left hand for counting tasbeeh. Aa'ishah (RA) said that the Prophet (SAW) used his left hand only for Istinjaa', or cleaning himself after responding to the call of nature.? He never used it for tasbeeh. Yasirah (RA) reported:?The Prophet (SAW) commanded women to count tasbeeh on their fingers. He Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:?"They (the fingers) will be made to speak, and will be questioned (on the Day of Resurrection.)" (At-Tirmithi) The above hadeeth indicates that it is preferable to count tasbeeh on the fingers of the right hand than to do so on masbahah (rosary) .

7. Crossing in front of a praying person. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) warned:? "Were the one who crosses in front of a praying person to know the consequences of doing so, he would have waited for *forty better than to cross in front of him." (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim).

*The forty in the tradition may be hours, days, months or even years. Allah knows best. IF POSSIBLE PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS."

Most of us Don't know what we are saying during Salat Al-janaaza ( Burial prayers):

Most of us Don't know what we are saying  during Salat Al-janaaza ( Burial prayers):

1- After the First Takbeer : Recite Surat Al-Fatiha.

2-After the Second Takbeer: Salat Al-Ibrahimiyya ( Allahumma Salli Alaa Muhammad Wa Alaa Aali Muhammad....to the end ).

3-Ater the Third Takbeer: Pray for the dead but according how its narrated from our Prophet S.A.W. One of them is:( Allahummagfir lahuu warhamhu wathabbit-hu Alal qawlu Athaabit ).

4- Then lastly after the Fourth Takbeer: Say: ( Allahumma laa tuharrimnaa ajrahuu wa laa taftinna ba'adahuu )
And you should pray for all Muslims.

5- And lastly end the prayer with one Salaam to the right  ( Just once ).

NINE GOLDEN RULES EXTRACTED FROM SURATUL HUJURAT

1. "Fa Tabayyanu": Investigate: when you receive an information,lest you harm people out of ignorance.

2. "Fa Aslihu"
Make settlement: between your brothers as believers are brothers.

3. "Wa Aqsitu": Act justly: whenever there is a dispute try for settlement and act justly among both parties as Allah loves those who act justly.

4. "La Yaskhar": Don't ridicule people,perhaps they may be better than you to Allah.

5. "Wa La Talamizu": Do not insult one another.

6. "Wa La Tanabazu": Do not call each other with offensive nicknames.

7. "Ijtanibu Kaseeran minaz-Zan": Avoid negative assumptions, indeed some of the assumptions are sins.

8. "Wa La Tajassasu" :  Do not spy on each other

9. "Wa La Yagtab": Do not backbite each other. Its a major sin equivalent to eating your dead brother's flesh.

HOW AN HONEST MAN WAS REPAID IN A SIMILAR COIN: A Wonderful Story to Read And Inculcate.

STORY OF THE PEARL NECKLACE – by Dr. Saleh As-Saleh

This story is recorded in the book “Gems and Jewels”published by Dar-us-salam

Qazi Abu Bakr Muhammad bin Abdul Baqi Ansari is an illustrious personality of Islamic History. He was the most pious person of his time. Even after the lapse of nine centuries, his exemplary life is a source of guidance to Muslims. His biographers tell a number of tales of his honesty and reliability but the one that affected his whole life is full of strange and unique events. He has narrated this story in his own words and it adorns the pages of history books.

“In the middle of the 5th century Hijri, I was a student of the Holy Quran and Hadith in Makkah. During that period, I once became jobless and my means of income came to an end. I managed, somehow, to subsist for a few days but soon it became hard to obtain even two square meals. My studies were discontinued and I had to sell a few of my books to support myself. I was at the edge of starvation but my feelings of self-respect did not allow me to borrow or beg from anybody.

One day, I was hungry, as usual. I went to the Holy Ka’bah to pray to Almighty Allah to save me from my sad plight. On my way back, I saw a velvet cloth pouch lying near the road edge. I picked it up. It was nicely sewn and neatly tied with a silk cord. I looked around to find its owner but the road was deserted and nobody was in sight. I carried the pouch to my house.

I was curious to know the contents of the small bag. As I untied the cord, a very precious necklace of pearls slipped into my hand. The luster of the spotless pearls almost lit my room. The pearls of different sizes were nicely put together in a string of crimson colored silk. It was a radiant beauty and I was thrilled to hold the valuable ornament. For a moment, I altogether forgot the hungry and pitiable state in which I was. My thoughts went to the unfortunate owner who had lost the precious jewelry. He must be unhappy and very worried due to his great loss. The course of action which I instantly decided on was to look for the owner and give him back his necklace to relieve him of this mental suffering. It never came to my mind to keep it wrongfully in my possession. So I set out to search for him. Leaving the bag behind, I went straight to the place were it was found.

A group of excited men were standing there and were busy in anxious conversation. I went close to them. Their topic of discussion was the missing pouch of pearls. An old man whose nobility and magnanimity was evident from his imposing personality, was standing amidst them. He was explaining the loss of his pearls to the attentive audience and was announcing a reward of five hundred gold coins to the person who could help him in recovering the lost necklace.

I listened to his account of the loss very carefully. When I was sure of his ownership, I held his hand gently and requested him to come along with me. He looked at me very hopefully and without asking any questions, he followed me. On the way back to my house, I was delightfully thinking that a handsome amount of five hundred dinars would be mind after a short while. The very thought of getting a reward of that much money was very pleasing. I was wondering whether my miseries would be over. I would no longer be a hungry or poor person. With such happy ideas in my mind, I entered my house and also invited the old man to come in.

When we sat down, I asked my perplexed guest about some marks of identification of his lost bad, so that his ownership could be established beyond doubt. He readily explained the shape and color of the pouch. He told me about its contents and gave an exact count of the pearls. He even described the tying cord. It convincingly proved that he was the rightful owner of the bad and the necklace of pearls. I silently rose and brought out the necklace pouch. As he saw it, his gloomy expression at once changed. His shining eyes beamed with joy and he looked at me with sincere gratefulness. His pleasant glance of thanks impressed me, and my own mode of thinking suddenly changed.

A little earlier, I was enjoying the idea of getting a good reward but now my mind was reasoning as to what I had actually done to deserve it. It was by sheer chance that the bag had came into my possession. I had exerted no efforts to obtain it. Therefore, why did I expect to get a reward for returning it to its rightful owner? But I was actually in dire need of money. My poverty and the grim realities of life were looking me in the face. Why shouldn’t I accept the reward? It was absolutely legitimate and surely there was no harm in taking it. A painful conflict of indecision was going on within me and I was in an uneasy state of double mindedness.
The noble old man was looking at the necklace again and again as to assure himself of its recovery. He then looked at me and said, “O dear me, you are a virtuous person and I thank you from the core of my heart. I am unable to express fully my feelings of gratittude for your act of praiseworthy conduct. Nevertheless, I offer you a purse of five hundred dinars as a humble present and request you to kindly accept it.”

He then placed in front of me a purse full of gold coins. A conflicting struggle of ideas was still going on in my mind. The sight of money which was within my easy reach was very tempting but I checked myself and said, “Sir, I thank you for offering me a substantial amount as a reward but it is impossible for me to accept it.”

“Why not?” asked my noble guest, “You justly deserve the reward because I am giving it entirely of my own free will. I gladly give it to you as a humble token of my gratitude. Please do not dishearten me by refusing it.” I replied, “Sir, I cannot even think of being rude to decline your kind offer, but it is certainly improper for me to take it without doing anything to earn it. The necklace is yours and I happened to find it only by chance. Its restoration to you does not entitle me to take anything in return. Please do not insist on me to accept what is not morally due to me.”

He was rather surprised by my firm refusal. Normally people yearn for money but I was adamantly declining it. He said, “My son! It is a virtue to be an honest person but the money is which is being offered to you is not disallowed by our faith. It is not prohibited to offer or accept such presents. Therefore, I request you to reconsider your unrealistic stand and keep that purse for the sake of my pleasure if not for anything else.”

I said, “Sir, I do not at all intend to displease you, but the pleasure of Almighty Allah is more important to be reckoned with than your or my pleasure. If there is any good in my action, I will prefer to leave the matter to His Grace for compensation, which I do not wan tot risk for all the riches of this world. Kindly do not insist because I am determined not to accept any undue reward.” My guest collected his pouch and purse and stood much dejectedly to leave. He patted me on the back and left without a word.

After a week or so, I got back my previous job. My days of deprivation and hunger were over. I rejoined my classes and forgot all about the incident I my busy schedule of daily routine. I exerted all of my energy to acquire knowledge of the Holy Qur’an and Hadith. My main subject of interest was Islamic Jurisprudence. I completed my studies with a distinction.

On the recommendation of my tutor, I was offered an appointment as Qazi of Qurtaba, (Cordova) the capital city of Haspaniyah (presently known as Spain). I readily accepted the post and started to prepare myself very happily for the long journey. I took leave of my colleagues and went to the port of Jeddah to embark on the ship for my destination. I boarded a merchant ship to carry me to the land of my future hopes.

For the first few days, the voyage was smooth and very enjoyable. Then suddenly a violent storm of severe intensity overtook us and the ship was engulfed by stormy waves. The mountain high waves tossed the ship around like a tiny toy. The masts were broken and the sails torn. A mighty wave crushed the ship and wrecked it completely. A few screams were heard and it was all over. I saw some floating boards and a few victims of the crash swimming around trying to save their lives. They were the only survivors of the hapless ship who were drifting over the ocean surface. When I recovered from the shock, I found myself clinging to a plan and moving with it at the mercy of the waves.

After drifting for two days, in a semi-conscious state, the waves tossed me upon the shore. I thanked Almighty Allah for saving me from the jaws of death. I was so weak that I couldn’t move. I helplessly lay there exposed to the scorching heat of the burning rays of the sun. I crawled to the dim shadows of a thorny bush. I lost track of time and was in a state between dizziness and heavy slumber.

After some time, I slightly opened my eyes and saw a few strange faces staring at me. They poured a few drops of water into my mouth and I came out of my oblivion but was still unable to speak. They made up a stretcher and carried me to a nearby town. When we approached near it, the first man-made thing which caught my eye was a towering minaret of a Masjid. I thanked Allah for being among my own brethren of faith.

They took me to a house belonging to one of them and laid me on a comfortable bed. With proper care, feeding, and treatment, I soon regained my lost energy. I told my kind host all about myself and the mishap of the ship wreck. My host, whose name was Faleh Hasan, informed me that I was in Hodeida, a coastal town of Yemen. The tract where I was luckily found was a desolate region and was a less treaded part of the coast. Faleh Hasan and his friends noticed a few vultures circling over the area, so they went to investigate and found me there in an unconscious state. He introduced me to his friends and I expressed my heartful thanks for saving my life. Due to their loving concern, I was soon normal, both mentally and physically.

I began to attend Masjid to offer my regular prayers and there I came to know many persons of nobility and of high-ranking positions. They all knew my unhappy episode through my host and treated me with understanding and respect. One of them was the aged and pious Sheikh Ahmad bin Suhail who usually led the prayers. He always greeted me with fatherly affection which touched me to the heart.

One day, he was a little late to arrive to the Masjid, so the people requested me to lead the prayers. My hesitation and excuses proved to be useless before their sincere appeals. That day I performed the duties of Imam. I did my best to recite clearly the Verses of the Holy Qur’an during the prayer and afterwards delivered a brief sermon on Islamic Law. Everyone seemed to be highly impressed. Sheikh Ahmad bin Suhail came forward and congratulated me on my excellent performance. I thanked him for his appreciation and encouragement. I came back to the house of my host filled with delight and self-confidence.

But later, I had sometimes thought that I had overstayed my welcome. So after the evening prayers, I stated my intention of leaving, but my host disagreed with me. He wanted me to stay for a few more days to recoup my health fully. At night, when I was going to bed, Sheikh Ahmad bin Suhail came with a few respectable people of the town. The friends of Faleh Hasan, who were my saviors, were also with them. When the preliminary formalities of greeting each other were over and all were comfortably seated, Sheikh Ahmad turned his eyes towards me and said, “Dear Abu Bakr, I have been honored by these gentlemen to speak to you, on behalf of them, about their commendable wish. I expect, you will please assent to it.”

I was perplexed by that kind of address. So I said nervously, “Sir, you are very helpful and kind to me. I cannot disregard any of your commands or wishes. You can order me to do anything and it will be an honor for me to obey it.”

He said, “Dear son, we all earnestly desire you to stay here with us forever. The regular Imam of our Masjid had died last year. We still mourn his death and perhaps will do so forever. His respect is deeply rooted in our hearts. He had enlightened our lives with the torch of knowledge. We wish you to take his place and consent to be our Imam. We may not be able to offer you a better paid position than that of the Qazi in Qurtaba, but we will surely give you our love, affection, and respect.”

“But Sir,” I protested, “I am a fresh, inexperienced student and feel small to carry out the sacred duties of the high office of Imam.” The Sheikh said, “My son, do not underestimate yourself. We all have heard your recitiation and sermon, and are fully convinced of your ability to fulfill those responsibilities.”

Before I could think of any evasive answer, my host, Faleh Hasan, and his friends vehemently backed up the proposal. I was left with no other alternative but to nod in affirmative. Everybody was pleased with my decision, especially Sheikh Ahmad who thanked me and kissed my forehead. They all rose to leave and thanking me individually, departed very happy.

They left me thinking how the secret hands of fate change the course of destiny in a secret manner. Circumstances secretly take such a turn that they altogether change the plans made up by man. I had cherished the hope of being a Qazi of Qurtaba and had taken steps to attain that goal, but preordained events made me an Imam of the Masjid in Hodeida.

So a new phase in my life began. I took charge of the imposed position and shifted to the assigned house of the Imam. I restarted the primary school that had closed due to the sad demise of the former Imam. I also commenced evening classes to impart lessons to explain the meaning of the Holy Qur’an.

I completely adjusted myself to the new environment and people generally accepted me as their religious leader. I was very contented and never for a moment regretted my decision to settle there. All the people, young and old alike, were happy and respected me. The feelings of any estrangement all faded away and I became as if I was one of them for ages.

One day, Sheikh Ahmad came to me and after enquiring about my welfare, said, “Dear Abu Bakr, your services to or townsmen are praiseworthy and beyond our expectations. I am glad that you had accepted our offer of staying with us. Now have come to you to ask one more favor.”

I said, “Sir, I am at your service. Please tell me and I will comply with your order.”

He said, “Dear son, a man is not perfect without his partner of life. I want you to marry and take full advantage of life. Marriage is also a sacred Sunna of our Holy Prophet. The sweet marital responsibilities are a real blessing which have been conferred onto man.”

I replied, “Sir, you have always advised me in my best interest. I take you as a father to me and in this matter also, I will follow you counsel.”

The Sheikh said, “Your predecessor, the late Imam of this Masjid was a very close friend of mine. He had a daughter, and when he was sure of his end, he entrusted her to my protection and care. Since then she has been under my guardianship. She is a lovely and adorable girl of good manners. Allah has endowed her with physical and mental beauty. She is virtuous and is a suitable match for you. I wish to give her in marriage to you and I feel sure that it will be a marriage of true minds.”

I had no objection to the proposal whatsoever. A few days later, the bonds of marriage united us. After the festive ceremonies were over, Sheikh Ahmad escorted her to my house that was in fact her old abode where she had lived with her late father. I looked at her and my gaze was concentrated steadily on her. I forgot to even say welcome to her. Ie was not only looking at her beautiful and charming face, and at her downcast eyes; but my glance was riveted upon her pretty neck, which was ornamented by precious pearls. I at once recognized that necklace. It was the same necklace that I once found on a deserted road of Makkah. I looked at her in silent and open-mouthed wonder.

Sheikh Ahmad noticed my confused condition and thought that her beauty and the luster of the pearls had enchanted me. He politely said, “Dear Abu Bakr, that necklace and its wearer, both are yours now and you can take all your time to behold them. It may, perhaps, interest you to know that the necklace has a strange story of its own. Five years ago, my friend went to Makkah for pilgrimage and took that necklace with him to get it re-polished. There, he lost it. But due to the goodness of an honest young man, he recovered it intact. That commendable young man refused to sell his honesty and declined the pressing offer of a handsome reward. He left a lasting impression upon my friend who always remembered and talked about him. He once confided to me that he had a mind to go to Makkah again and ask that virtuous young man to accept the hand of his daughter, but time did not allow him to do so. Anyhow, it was destined differently. His daughter was to become your wife instead of his. The decreed decisions of fate are strange and beyond the understanding of man.”

An emotional storm erupted within me. The strange happenings of the fateful events which were unfolded by the hidden hands of destiny agitated me and drops of tears rolled down my cheeks; I looked towards Sheikh Ahmad through misty eyes and said, “Dear Sir, you are very right to say that insight into the unknown mysteries of fate is not possible. It would perhaps be a pleasant surprise to know that I am the same person who found the necklace and restored it to your friend. He, in return, offered me an amount of five hundred dinars. Although I was a pauper and was suffering from the agonies of hunger in those days, my conscience did not allow me to accept anything that was not my due. I pinned all my hopes and expectations of Almighty Allah for any reward. And here I am with His gracious and greatest reward of all.”

Sheikh Ahmad was amazed and without saying a word, he held my hand and shook it was a passion. My newly wedded wife lifted her eyes and looked me full in the face. Her eyes were filled with enthusiastic love that any husband ever could desire for. Almighty Allah had bestowed upon me His favors by giving me a considerate and loving wife and nothing in life surpasses that bliss.”

10 TIPS ON HOW TO CONCENTRATE DURING SALAT (PRAYERS)

1. Before standing up for Prayer, try to deal with all the minor urgent matters which demand your attention. If you are pressed by
hunger, eat first; if you are pressed to attend to the ...call of nature, relieve yourself; if you are
the parent of an infant, feed him or her, or keep him or her busy.

2. Perform your wudu’ (ablution) well, paying due care and attention.

3. Approach the Prayer with zest and passion as if it is the last prayer in your life before dying. Actually the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that we
could do nothing in this world that could ever surpass Prayer in merit and excellence.

4. Visualize that in your Prayer you
are going to have a special audience with Allah, Lord of the worlds, and that you are enjoying a direct communion with Him—which,
in fact, is true.

5. Think of the Prayer you are performing as if it were the last Prayer of your life. In fact, it
could very well be the last one, since no one is given a guarantee that he would live to perform another Prayer.

6. Picture the scene of the Last Day
when people will be lined up into two groups, one destined for Heaven, and another for Hell,
and ask yourself where you would be placed.

7. Focus your mind on what you are reading in your Prayer and recite simple suurats that you understand it's meaning and ponder on the
meaning whiles u recite.

8. If, in spite of your best efforts, your mind is still wandering, seek refuge in Allah and bring your mind back to Prayer.

9. Pray to Allah and beg Him to grant you true the joy of concentrating in your Prayer and
protection against the wanderings of your mind.

10. Place your eyesight to the one spot where you will be making your sujuud while you recite and avoid taking your eyes from that spot.

YOUR CHILDREN ARE SEXY? ??

Few weeks ago, I was at the local airport and as I waited in the departure lounge, I noticed there were many children roaming about but it was understandable since it was summer holiday.

One other thing I noticed was the way most of the children were dressed. Most of them, especially the girls, were dressed in bum shorts, halter necks, cut off jeans, etc. The clothes in themselves weren't the issue per se; it was the overall look of the children that had me bothered. That was definitely not the first time I noticed it.

A few months before, I had taken my kids to a birthday party and found myself in what could easily have been a night club for kids. Scanty clothing such as tight or very short clothes, bum shorts, long weaves, etc, seemed to be the dress code. I noticed my son glancing around, probably wondering, "What in God's world are these other children wearing?" Or something like that.

Not long after, the kids were called out to dance to the hit songs of the season - these songs in my opinion should be rated PG 16. 4 - 6 year olds trooped to the dance floor, miming the sexually explicit songs and gyrating their bodies in the most sensual manner.
They could have given Beyonce a run for her money. They ran their hands over their bodies, shook their booties hard while their parents cheered them on. The boys had their upper shirts unbuttoned and rapped along perfectly to gangsta raps while doing flawless break dance.

Those who danced like actual children where shooed off the dance floor while the lewd ones were cheered on. As I watched, my child stared out of this circle looking longingly at the others dancing. I knew it was time to leave.

As we left, we went to an eatery where I bought them ice cream and gently explained to them the concept of decency and dancing with decorum.

Another time, at a game arcade for kids, I ran
into a lady who had made-up her kids' faces like they were mannequins for Tara or Mac beauty products. Their skirts were so tight, that running up and down the slide was uncomfortable for them.

So the question is, why are we sexualizing our kids? Why does your 4, 6 or 9 year old girl have to look like a chick? Why does she have to be hot or sexy? Should your 8 year old son go around with a comb in his hair and his pants sagged almost to his ankles?

If your child wears bum shorts out of the house at age 3, why should she
be expected to wear longer ones at 15? If she wears 2 rings and 12 bangles at 6, why won't she pierce a second ear hole at 17 and her bellybutton at 19? Why won't your son pierce his own ear at 15?

Are you setting your children up to be immodest and indecent? What trend are you starting them on? That all these are fashionable or trendy doesn't mean it's ok. What happened to children wearing dresses.
Children can look very nice and decent, they can be well covered and still look good.

In this age, when children are being abused. Is it wise to make your child an object of anyone's sexual attention? When I hear some children belt out sexually explicit lyrics, I ask myself how they became exposed to this songs!

As a parent, you can't play the CD of such songs and not expect your children to pick them up; the same goes for watching Mtv Base, Channel O, etc with your children. Studies have shown that children exposed to a high level of sexually explicit information tend to become sexually active early. Is that your goal as a parent?

Being a parent involves sacrifice. You will need to avoid listening to such music where your children are. Most of those lyrics demean women and teach your daughter that she's just a sex toy and her body is for squeezing. It teaches the boys that money is everything and women are things to be used to satisfy their primal urges. These music introduces them to a degrading pop culture.

Our children have their lives ahead of them, let's set them on the right path by teaching them to dress decently and sing nice or age-appropriate songs. Let your children be children. Train up a child in the way that s/he should go and when s/he is old, s/he would not depart from it.!