Kissing One's Spouse while Fasting
Question:
Dear scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. Can a husband and wife kiss during the fast?
Jazakum Allah khayran
Answers by Sheikh Sayyed Sabiq and Sheikh Ahmad Kutty Wa`alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and
blessings be upon His Messenger.
Kissing one's wife while fasting is permissible. However, it is
better to avoid kissing during the daytime of Ramadan, as it
may lead to further actions which nullify the fast, such as
sexual intercourse.
In his well-known book, Fiqh As-Sunnah, Sheikh Sayyed Sabiq
states:
It is confirmed that `A’ishah said: The Prophet would
kiss and embrace while he was fasting, for he had the
most control of all of you over his desires.
`Umar said: I was excited one time and I kissed [my
wife] while I was fasting. I went to the Prophet and
said: 'Today I committed a horrendous act—I kissed
while I was fasting.' The Prophet asked: 'What do you
think of rinsing your mouth with water while fasting?' I
said: 'There is nothing wrong with that.' The Prophet
said: 'Then, why do you question about it!'
Ibn al-Mundhir says: "`Umar, Ibn `Abbas, Abu Hurairah,
`A’ishah, `Ata, al-Sha`bi, al-Hassan, Ahmad, and
Ishaq permit kissing. The Hanafi and Shafi`i scholars
say that it is disliked if it incites one's desires. If it does
not do so, it is not disliked although it is better to avoid
it.’
There is no difference between an old man and a
young man in this matter. The question is whether or
not the kiss excites one's desires. If it does, it is disliked.
If it does not, it is not disliked although it is best to
avoid it. It does not matter if the kiss was on the cheek
or on the lips, and so on.
Touching with the hand or embracing follow the
same ruling as kissing."
Elaborating on the issue, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior
lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto,
Ontario, Canada, states:
In optional fasts, kissing, light touching, etc. are
permitted so long as one does not engage in sexual
intercourse. In obligatory fasts, one is allowed to do
these only if one can control himself or herself.
Breaking an obligatory fast through sexual intercourse
is a serious offence, and it entails strict form of
kaffarah (expiation), which includes fasting two
months consecutively; if one cannot do this, one must
feed sixty poor persons for a single day of fast thus
invalidated.
Therefore, no one who is fasting should do such things
if there is a genuine risk of overstepping the
boundaries. If there is no such fear then light
touching, or kissing, etc., when not accompanied by
sexual desire, is permissible. When the Prophet (peace
be upon him) was asked by a young man whether he
can kiss his wife while fasting, he replied no, but when
an elderly person came and asked him the same
question, he replied yes.
Reasons for this are clear: While it may be easier for
an elderly person to control himself, that may not be
the case with regard to a young person.
As far as the Prophet’s own example is concerned, his
beloved wife ‘A’ishah reported that he used to kiss his
wife while he was fasting. But then she added the
following comment: ‘Who among you can control his
sexual desire as the Prophet himself was able to do?’
In conclusion, since each person knows his own
weaknesses better than anyone else, he should be his
own judge in this matter and he is better advised to
take necessary precautions when dealing with
obligatory fasts. In case of optional fasts, however,
because it does not entail any serious consequences
if one were to break it because of uncontrollable
sexual desire, the issue is far more flexible.
Allah Almighty knows best.
Hugging One's Spouse While Fasting
Questi on:
As-Salamu `alaykum.
Are a husband and wife allowed to hug while fasting?
Jazakum Allah khayran.
Answer by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty
Q&A
Wa`alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and
blessings be upon His Messenger.
In obligatory fasts, one is allowed to do these only if one can
control oneself. Therefore, no one who is fasting should do
such things if there is a genuine risk of overstepping the
boundaries. If there is no such fear, then light touching, or
kissing, etc, when not accompanied by sexual desire, is
permissible.
In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a
senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of
Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states,
Hugging your spouse in itself does not invalidate the
fast; we read in the sources that the Prophet (peace
and blessings be upon him) used to kiss his wife while
fasting. We also read that once a person asked the
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) “Am I
allowed to kiss my wife while fasting?” He replied,
“Yes.” Hugging is comparable to kissing.
Having said this, however, I must caution you to
abstain from such acts if you find yourself unable to
control your desire, for as Muslims we must keep away
from all such acts that may inadvertently lead to
invalidating our fasts. This is why we read in another
hadith that the Prophet told another person not to kiss
his spouse.
In explaining the discrepancy between the two
reports, Ibn `Abbas said, “The man he permitted was
an older person, while the man he prohibited was a
young man.” Therefore, if you have any doubt or fear
of being unable to control yourself, then you should
simply abstain from such actions altogether in order
to save your fast. This is why the Prophet’s wife
`A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) asked a
person, 'Who among you is capable of restraining
himself as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him) had been?'
Allah Almighty knows best.
Respected scholars, assalamu
`alaykum.
Is it permissible to have intercourse (sex) with husband during Ramadan time?
Jazakum Allahu khayran.
Answer by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty
Wa`alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and
blessings be upon His Messenger.
- 13 -
Husband-Wife
Relationship
in Ramadan
Q&A
A Muslim is allowed to have intercourse with his or her spouse
after breaking the fast and until dawn (the time of
abstention from food, drink, and gratifications). However,
one who is fasting should never overstep the boundaries of
fasting by having intercourse with his or her spouse while
fasting.
In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a
senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of
Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states the following:
While it is forbidden to establish any conjugal relations
with one’s spouse while one is fasting during the day,
one is certainly allowed to do so during the night until
the arrival of dawn (i.e., fajr).
Allah says:
{It is made lawful for you to go to your wives (in
sexual relations) on the night of the fast. They
are a garment for you and you are a garment
for them. Allah knows that you were deceiving
yourself in this respect and He has turned in
mercy towards you and pardoned you.
Therefore you may now have intercourse with
them and seek what Allah has ordained for
you. Eat and drink until the white thread (of
dawn) becomes distinct to you from the black
thread (of night)} (Al-Baqarah 2:187).
In short, we are allowed to enjoy intimate sexual
relations after breaking the fast throughout the night
until the time of abstention from food, drink, and
gratifications (i.e. when the time of fajr arrives).
Allah Almighty knows best.
Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islam.ca.
Forcing One's Wife to Make Love
during the Day of Ramadan
Questi on:
Dear scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. I read in a book written on Ramadan that if a man has
forced his wife to make love to him during the day of Ramadan, she is not sinful and her fasting
remains valid and that the husband incurs the whole sin. Is that correct?
Jazakum Allah khayran.
Answer by Sheikh Husam al-Din Ibn Musa `Afana
Wa`alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and
blessings be upon His Messenger.
Islam does not give a man the right to make his wife break her fast before its due time during Ramadan.
So, if the husband exceeds his limits and wants to have sexual intercourse with his wife during the day of Ramadan, she should not obey him; if he forces her to do so, she is not sinful, and thus is not required to expiate for such a deed.
However, she is to make up for that day later, as her fasting has been nullified by sexual intercourse.
It is the husband who is sinful in that case and is required to repent and expiate for the sin he has committed.
In his response to your question, Dr. Husam al-Din ibn Musa `Afana, a professor of Principles of Islamic Jurisprudence at Al-Quds University, Palestine, states: It is unanimously agreed upon that sexual intercourse
is one of the causes that nullify fasting. Allah Almighty says:
{Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments. Allah knoweth what ye used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now associate with them, and seek what Allah Hath ordained for you, and eat and drink, until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread; then complete your fast Till the night appears; but do not associate with your wives while ye are in retreat in the mosques. Those are Limits (set by) Allah: Approach not nigh thereto. Thus doth Allah make clear His Signs to men: that they
may learn self-restraint.} (Al-Baqarah 2: 187)
Allah Most High says in a hadith qudsi:
"All the deeds of Adam's sons (people) are for them, except fasting which is for Me, and I will give the reward for it. He (the fasting person) has left his food, drink and desires for My sake."(It is an authentic hadith reported by Ibn Khuzaymah.)
It is forbidden for a Muslim to nullify his fast or another's fast without justification; he who does this intentionally incurs a grave sin.
There is a scholarly difference as to the legal rulings concerning forcing a person to break his fast before
its due time. Let's narrow down this point to forcing one's wife to nullify her fast by performing sexual
intercourse.
The majority of jurists from the Hanafi and Maliki schools are of the opinion that if a man has forced his
wife to make love to him during the day-time of a day in Ramadan, [she is not sinful, yet] she is to make
up for that day later, for her fasting has been nullified by sexual intercourse. The husband is to make up for
that day later and he is also to expiate such a deed. [The expiation consists of freeing a sound Muslim
slave; if this is not possible, then the expiation is to fast the days of two consecutive months. If this is not
possible, then the expiation is to feed sixty needy people]. This view is adopted also by a group of the
Shafi`i school and a group of the Hanbali scholars. Other groups of the Shafi`i and Hanbali scholars
believe that the fast of the wife in that case remains valid, for she has broken her fast under coercion. They
quote as evidence of their view the hadith in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"Allah Almighty will not call my nation to account for what they have done by (unintentional) mistake, or
out of forgetfulness or under coercion.” (Reported by Ibn Majah and Al-Hakim)
I am most inclined to adopting the opinion that the wife forced to nullify her fast during the Day of
Ramadan by sexual intercourse is to make up for that day later. This is because I believe that a wife in that
case is not one hundred percent forced; her response to making love often implies some kind of agreement
and sexual desire too. Besides, the concept of coercion is controversial to many people.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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